I have been reading this book “Eat Pray Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert. I know nothing about the author, and have never heard of the book, but when I started reading it, I was intrigued. It is about the author’s discovery of herself, through her travels in Italy, India and Indonesia, where she learns about “Eating, Praying and Loving”.
The author quotes Virginia Woolf in her book. Here’s what she says: ” Across the broad continent of a woman’s life falls the shadow of a sword”. On one side of the sword is tradition, order – on the other side, it is an uncharted path. All is confusion – nothing is known.. Nothing follows a regular course.
I know what she is saying. I am am flirting along the edge of that sword – wanting to cross over, but afraid of the uncharted territory on the other side.
The feeling of flirting with danger is familiar – I have experienced it before – when I went rafting on the Ganges river in India. I jumped from the raft to float along the river, to experience the excitement – but I would not let go of the rope that held me to the raft. I wanted to feel the excitement and sense of freedom from floating all by myself down the river, but I coudl not bring myself to let go of the raft – until some friends grabbed me and I did not have a choice.
Today is not all that different. I am hanging onto to the raft of corporate life – refusing to let go, and hence unable to experience the thrill, excitement and joy of choosing my own path. Scared to leave the raft.
One day soon, I will let go of the rope. And float freely down the river.